how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
