god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
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