Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
