Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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