so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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