is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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