im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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