I think im going to throw up on grandma
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
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