is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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