I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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