grandma shit on top of the toilet
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize