Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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