It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
You're breaking my sexual little heart
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
