Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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