I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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