I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
