We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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