i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
