ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize