I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
