I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
