Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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