i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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