i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
