i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize
