Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
