Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
