i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
