Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
