what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
