Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
