In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I could have mohawked her pubes.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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