I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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