Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize