come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
