The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Life is so much better after having sex.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
