i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
