Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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