And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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