drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
