thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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