after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
