it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
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