What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
