the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Randomize
