what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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