Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
