Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
