Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
