Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
