broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
