My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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