My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
