He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
