i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
