is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
