She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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