I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
