I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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