every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
