i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
